The fic is here: http://notyourdannyboy.livejournal.c
The Community itself can be found at
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wicked_awardsI was thrilled to have been nominated and this win just validates even more what I try do with my look at Daniel's past. Thank you so much.
Please vote here in Section Four: The Tammys
Thank you to all those who follow Daniel, to all who nominated, and to those who will vote, your support is greatly appreciated.
Section Two
1. Outstanding Roleplaying of Friendship
E. notyourdannyboy - Daniel Jackson / murrayofchulak - Teal'C
2. Outstanding Roleplaying of a Relationship
Nominated/ notyourdannyboy/a_roman_w_power,
8. Most Intriguing Roleplay Plot, Short Term
B. notyourdannyboy - Runaway
9. Most Intriguing Roleplay Plot, Long Term
Nominated/ murrayofchulak/notyourdannyboy/blue_jell
10. Best AU Characterization of a Canon Muse
E. notyourdannyboy - Daniel Jackson
Best Role-play Thread Four or Less Muses
C. http://a-roman-w-power.livejournal.c
Marius and Daniel
Section Three
6. Emotional Prompt Response of the Year
B. Daniel Jackson
8. Canon Prompt Response of the Year
H. Daniel Jackson
Section Four
1. Child Muse of the Year
A. notyourdannyboy - Daniel Jackson
13. Nicest Writer/Roleplayer
Nominated notyourdannyboy
Runaway would not be possible without the mun for Logan Maxwell and their wonderful muse...as for "Daddy" Teal'c, well, you just have to read it for yourself, I love the muse and it's always a joy to write with his mun.
Go vote here:
realm_of_tammys"Do you mind if I come in?" She had long ago decided that the hardest part of being a foster parent was the waiting that came during the transition from arrival to acceptance of her boy's new lives. Daniel though was proving to be even more of a challenge and she couldn't help but worry about him, the acceptance of his new life wasn't coming, and she was beginning to wonder if it ever would.
"I don't care." The small blond was sprawled across his bed, a book suited for one far older open in front of him.
"The other boys are playing ball outside in the yard, you don't want to join them?" With permission received she walked over and took a seat on the bed beside him.
"I'm reading." While he didn't close the book, he did slide the tablet he'd been writing on over to it, as if he were readying to mark his place in it.
"You've been reading ever since breakfast, you should go get some fresh air, it's nice outside." While she didn't want to force the boy to put his book away, it was becoming harder and harder to watch as he isolated himself from the other three boys in their care.
"I did my chores, why can't I just read?" Daniel's question was a fair one, or at least to him it seemed that. How was she supposed to explain why she wanted him to play, why she wanted him to be more like the other boys?
"Daniel, it's not just about reading your book." Mary stopped as she saw the expression on the 8 year old's face begin to alter, he was already closing himself off to what she was going to say, she could see it in his eyes.
"You can't spend your life in your room reading books. I know this is hard for you, and I know you're angry at your grandfather for making you stay here, but, punishing yourself isn't going to make it easier, or change anything." She hated the way the words sounded to her ears, but, something had to change, she couldn't let him keep living like this. Daniel's eyes grew wide at the woman's words. How could she know something he hadn't told anyone?
"It's not like that, I just like to read." The words were defensive and it even without her experience at reading children, Mary could easily see them for the lie they were.
"Daniel, it's okay to be mad, and even though it hurts, I can understand you're not wanting to be here, but, the fact remains, this is where you have to live now. As hard as it may be for you to accept, we're your family now, and you need to look at things as they can be, not like they used to be." Releasing a breath, Mary reached a hand out to touch the boy's hair.
"No, you're not my family, Grandpa Nick is my family, and I know he's going to come and get me, he just needs more time." Daniel struggled to keep from breaking down as he made his argument, because even as he made the claim he wasn't sure he still believed it. And if he was wrong, if Nick really didn't want him, he really would be alone, and then what would happen to him?
Muse: Daniel Jackson
Fandon: Stargate: SG-1
Words: 262
Picking Up The Pieces
Chapter 20
If he'd thought the Chapel service was hard on his foster son, it was nothing compared to the graveside one. Colin McDowell had watched Daniel closely as the small 8 year old had stood stoically at his Grandfather's side, and his heart had cried for him. While there had been several moments where he'd wanted to go to the boy, none had fired the Irish in him more than when the man had not so much offered his young grandson the comfort of an arm around his shoulder as his parents were lowered into the ground. When they started to walk away from the plots, and toward the parking lot, and he saw that the man had beome too absorbed in a conversation with one of the other attendees to even offer his hand, he'd had enough.
"Daniel." Colin approached the two with his anger at the child's grandfather securely masked.
"Come to me, Son." After offering his hand, Colin pulled the boy in for a quick embrace of long overdue comfort before turning his attention to the man he saw as responsible.
"I think Daniel's ready to go." And if he was being completely honest, he'd had more than enough of the man himself.
"I thought I'd take my Grandson to lunch, if that's all right, I don't know when I'll get another chance." Nicholas Ballard broke from his conversation with a raised finger to the other man as McDowell called Daniel to him.
"But...but, I'm going to go live with you." At the realization that his Grandfather had not changed his mind on his earlier decision panic flooded Daniel.
"You're my Grandfather, you can't let me stay with people I don't know." Having released his hold on his foster father, Daniel's voice raised as he finally released the fear that had been building in him since the death of his parents.
"Daniel. Stop that this instant." The fact that the small party had begun to draw an audience had not escaped the older man's attention and he wanted nothing more from the moment then to put an end to the conversation, regardless of how he had to do it.
"I'll be good, Grandpa Nick,I promise." The harshness of his Grandfather's words had finally broke the child's resolve and the tears he'd held back now finally broke free.
"I have important work I have to do, I travel Daniel, you know that, you need to be where you can go to school." Ballard's patience was running thin, he was the adult, he shouldn't be arguing his decision with a child.
"But..."Daniel barely started to speak before he was stopped.
"No buts, we're not talking about this anymore, you'll stay where you are. Now, let's go to lunch before I have to leave." As far as he was concerned the matter was over, but Colin McDowell wasn't quite ready to let the man off that easily and as he lifted Daniel up into his arms he shot a hard look at the man.
"So, in other words, while you are going off the deep end on your latest cause, in the end it's the little guy who gets hurt. That about sum things up for you? You think lunch is going to fix that do you? I'll let him go, but, I think you need to seriously rethink your priorities." Without giving him a chance to answer, Colin headed for the car, already Daniel's tears had fallen into more serious crying and as he walked away he rubbed the boy's back, offering him what little comfort he could.
While Daniel couldn't see it now, maybe this was for the best, at least it was in his eyes. He couldn't imagine what kind of life the man might have offered Daniel if he couldn't even find the compassion to comfort him as his parents were laid to rest. At least with he and Mary Daniel would know that, and love and so much more, and maybe even in time, he might accept them enough to call them Mom and Dad. Well, at least he could hope.
Muse: Young Daniel Jackson
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Words: 688
Previous chapters can be found here:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 and 19
Chapter 19
"He's going to be mad at me, I was supposed to stay there." Daniel's walk slowed as he voiced his concern.
"It'll be all right." Squeezing the hand he held, Colin offered the words in reassurance.
"But, how are you going to stop him from talking about it, he's going to yell again." Lifting his free-hand, he rubbed the tears from his eyes before they fully caught.
"You let me worry about that, okay, that's my job."
If Colin McDowell had been thinking ahead, he'd have realized that Daniel's grandfather would have noticed his grandson's disappearance, but he hadn't. The truth was, he could have cared less about the old man's feelings, Daniel was the only one who mattered, and after how the man had treated him, the best thing he could do for the 8 year old was leave. Colin knew of course that wasn't likely to happen, and so, as he rounded the corner of the building with Daniel in tow, only to be confronted by Nicholas Ballard, his natural reaction was to put himself between them.
"Daniel, where have you been? You've made everyone wait because you didn't stay with me like I told you to. What were you thinking?" His words were laced with an anger that, to Colin, seemed almost irrational.
"Leave the boy alone." As he spoke, he leveled his eyes on the older man, daring him to take things to the next level.
"He's my grandson, you can't tell me how to talk to him. Daniel, come to me, now." Ballard might have been signaling a dog instead of a child, and as he finished he snapped his fingers before pointing to his side, indicating exactly where he expected Daniel to stand.
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Daniel, but, it's your choice, you can stay with me if you want to, or you can go to your grandfather, either way, we need to go down to the graves now." Colin turned slightly so he could see the boy's face as he spoke.
"Daniel, come here now, this is no time for games." Ballard's voice rose yet again, his dismissal of the other man's words all too clear in the tone of his own.
"I don't know, I don't want to make him mad." Daniel's lip trembled with the confession, when not a moment later his tears began to fall, in McDowell's eye the boy had made his decision even without saying it.
"Look Dr. Ballard, this is hard on everyone, why don't we walk down to the graveside and we can talk about this later." As he finished speaking he turned and picked Daniel up.
"We're heading down now, you're welcome to join us, the choice is yours." When Daniel laid his head on Colin's shoulder, it was hard for him not to smile slightly, despite the tears that were now dampening his shirt. Rubbing his hand over his foster-son's back, Colin McDowell turned his attention to the boy's grandfather for a final time before starting toward the cemetery.
"Are you coming?" Everything about the boy's case since he'd entered their home had been a struggle, but he couldn't help feel that Daniel's small gesture of trust was a sign that things would work out, and with that hope he set out for where the rest of the funeral party waited.
To be continued...
Muse: Young Daniel Jackson
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Words:567
Previous chapters can be found here:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18
Picking Up The Pieces
Chapter 18
Daniel said nothing through the short service for his parents, if anything he seemed to have retreated into himself, so much so that he refused even his grandfather's attempts to make amends for the exchange outside. Call it stubbornness, or a show of anger, but, even when those around him gave into their grief, somehow the small 8 year old managed to hold his back.
The entire scene was difficult for Colin McDowell to watch. How could the boy's grandfather not realize what was going on in his grandson's head? How could he not see the pain the boy was in, and how desperately he needed the sense of belonging he was sure he would only find with the man? As the service ended and they readied to leave, Colin found it hard to bite his tongue, but, somehow he managed to do just that. For these few hours he would step back and allow Daniel's well-being to fall to his grandfather, and if they were lucky for the sake of the boy, the old man might just change his mind about taking him.
"Daniel." Nicholas Ballard extended his hand to his grandson. When the boy didn't immediately take it, the man's tone grew harsher, leaving him with no doubt that he would not tolerate the disobedience.
"Daniel, now." Releasing a quiet sigh, the small blond, while he took his grandfather's hand, avoided looking at him, or otherwise acknowledging him. To Colin's eye it was clear that it was the child's way of expressing his displeasure at having no say in what was happening to him, and he found he once again couldn't blame him.
"Now we go to the graveside, and then I will take you to get something to eat." The very way the man spoke to his grandson, there was no questioning of his wants, no permission asked if he wanted to do anything, only orders. Without realizing it, Colin McDowell was gaining more insight into what made his newest fosterson tick, then he had in all the weeks he'd been in their home.
As they exited the Chapel, several men approached Nicholas Ballard, and without thinking he released his grandson's hand as he became engaged in conversation with them. At first, Daniel was almost afraid to leave the man's side, afraid to put himself on the receiving end of yet another outburst from him, after several minutes however he found he could no longer just stand there while the man talked and he began inching away.
"Good for you, Daniel. As he watched the boy, McDowell couldn't help but smile. He was so different from the other children that had passed through their home.
As he first started to move away, his gaze remained on his grandfather, the fear of being caught was agonizing and it wasn't until he reached the corner of the small Chapel that he finally relaxed enough to stop and think about where he was going. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew he couldn't actually run away, but, what did that leave him? Glancing around, he caught sight of a chain-link fence across a small field, maybe it led nowhere, but, at least it gave him a destination.
When he finally found himself stopped by the fence, he discovered it oversaw a set of train-tracks. Grasping the cold metal bar that ran across it, he leaned his forehead against the metal, if only he had a way to escape along those tracks. He could climb on a train and go until it ran out of tracks, who would care? For a brief moment he almost wished the fence were gone, if he could just step off the edge he could be with his mom and dad again.
"Daniel? It's time to go back now, son." Colin McDowell's voice was quiet as he stopped a short distance behind him.
"I don't want to." His grip on the bar tightened, as if that alone would be enough to prevent his having to face his grandfather again.
"I know, it's hard, but, they're ready to move your mom and dad, you want to be there, don't you?" Stepping closer, he laid his hand on the boy's shoulder.
"I don't know." His voice trembled, the emotions he'd held in throughout the service now threatening to finally break.
"It's all right not to be sure, you can stay with me, we'll stand at the back, then, if you decide you don't want to stay at the graveside, we can go back to the car without anyone seeing, okay?" Moving into the child's line of sight, he crouched so he was at eye level with him.
"You don't have to stand with your grandfather unless you want to, I promise." As he stood, it was his turn to offer his hand, and while no words were exchanged, after only a slight hesitation, Daniel took it. It was a start, and he couldn't ask for more then that from him.
Muse: Young Daniel Jackson
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Words: 834
Previous chapters can be found here:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 and 17
Chapter 17
The ride to the cemetery was made in silence and it was hard for the man not to wonder what was going on in the boy's head as he watched him from the corner of his eye. In all of the years he and his wife had been foster parents they'd never been through anything like what they were now facing with Daniel. It wasn't just the loss of his parents, many of the children that had come into their care had experienced that, it wasn't even the seeming rejection by his grandfather, that too was something they'd faced before. It was more the way it seemed that those in charge of the boy's case continued to lie to him, or worse, they seemed determined to keep him in the dark with regard to his future. As young as Daniel was in age, after spending any time with him, it became all too clear that he held wisdom and maturity far beyond the numbers marked by his birthday. Knowing that, and watching him as he day by day slid deeper into a silence born of his own isolation left him wondering what he could do to change things without overstepping his bounds.
As they reached the cemetery and he pulled into a parking space across from the small chapel that would host the brief service, he wondered how he would explain the lack of people to the 8 year old. Surely this wasn't the extent of those who had come to pay their respects to the Jacksons. There had to be others who would miss the boy's parents as much as their son did, colleagues, relatives, no matter how distant, who would at least have come to say good-bye.
Once they were out of the car, Colin McDowell took a firm hold on his foster son's shoulder before guiding him to the steps. "Come on, Daniel."
"Daniel." The call of the boy's name stopped them from entering and as he and his foster father both turned, for the first time since his arrival, a genuine smile filled the boy's face. Before Colin could react further, the child broke from his hold and nearly flew down the steps and toward the older man who had called to him.
"Grampa Nick!" As he reached him, Daniel launched himself at the man, almost knocking him down.
"Easy, Danny Boy." Nicholas Ballard, wrapped his arms around his grandson, then lay his cheek against his hair as the boy broke down. The unexpected arrival of his grandfather seemed to trigger the release of all of the emotions that the child had been holding back.
"I'm Nicholas Ballard, Claire Jackson's father, and Daniel's grandfather." As he introduced himself, the archaeologist untangled one hand from the boy's grip and offered it to Colin as he joined them.
"Colin McDowell, my wife Mary spoke to you on the phone I believe, we're Daniel's foster parents." As the 8 year old's crying showed no sign of easing, and if anything seemed to be getting worse, he dropped his eyes quickly down to the boy then back to his grandfather.
"Do you want me to take him?" Before the man had a chance to answer, Daniel's hold on his grandfather tightened.
"He's okay." As he spoke, Ballard picked the boy up so that he could comfort him more easily.
"Daniel, you need to try and calm down now, you're okay...shhh." Over the next fifteen minutes he alternately whispered to the boy and simply rubbed his back as he tried to help him once again get his emotions under control.
"Grampa Nick, I want to come live with you, please." His words were halting, the plea muffled somewhat by the crying that he was still struggling to stop.
"We'll talk about it later, you need to stop the crying now so we can go inside, I know it hurts, and I know you miss them, but, it's not going to bring them back." The words were whispered to his grandson as if he meant them to be a secret for only the two of them to share.
"I don't want to stay with people I don't know." Though his reply held a slight stutter within it, it was clear that Daniel was trying to comply and his grandfather rewarded his efforts with another kiss before brushing his fingers through the boy's hair.
"Daniel, stop now, and listen to me." Nicholas Ballard's voice grew firmer. "You really don't have alot to say about it. It wasn't your choice to make. You're too young to stay by yourself and there's nowhere else for you to go."
"I can go with you." For the first time he lifted his head from his grandfather's chest. The need to see his face suddenly very important."
"No, Daniel, you can't, I'm sorry. Now, we have to go inside, We'll talk about it more after the ceremony." The older man's words held a finality to them that, while surprising Colin, left his grandson stunned. Almost immediately the boy released his hold on the man and as his feet hit the ground, he stepped back from him.
"We'll talk about it later." Nicholas Ballard stopped Daniel before he could say anything, he ignored the boy's tear streaked cheeks, and his trembling lip, just as he had ignored so many other things that didn't fit in his life, instead he simply offered the boy his hand.
"It's time to go inside. Now, Daniel." He left no room for argument, and he received none in return. Acting almost automatically, the boy took his grandfather's hand and as they started up the chapel steps, all Colin McDowell could do was follow them.
To be continued...
Previous chapters can be found here:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, and 16
desperatescreen I have been told to remove Daniel because I refuse to age him to an adult muse. It doesn't seem to matter to the new Mods that the muse is involved in an active storyline with several other characters and has been for close to a year, their reason? He was never a child in canon. I explained that when I joined the community I had altered his concept to where he was actually the adult Daniel who through a glich of some kind arrived at the "Hotel" in his younger self's body with all of his adult memories. The Mods contacted me today to say they wanted him aged, I explained that we were running an active storyline and the plot included this change. But, where in canon was Daniel young was the response I kept getting back as I tried to argue to salvage our game. I explained that in canon Jack had a similar experience, a clone of him was switched, a child version with adult memories. No, wasn't Daniel...can't allow it. So, because I refused to scrap the entire concept of who this muse is, and because I refused to trash the play of the others involved in the storyline, a storyline we have invested close to a year of our time in, Daniel was essentially kicked out of the community. Nice to know that the new Mods respect their player base and their loyalty to the game, yeah, this is definitely a Community I'll be recommending other people to. Right, sure it is, not hardly.Because of this, I have also removed Luka and Joe/dr_luka_kovac from the community.
And, yes, I am pissed.
Picking Up The Pieces
Chapter 16
It was Colin McDowell who would be accompanying Daniel to his parent's funeral. The discussion over whether to allow the boy to attend had been argued back and forth between the various adults interested in his welfare for several days prior to the final decision being made. The arrangements had all been taken care of by those at the museum who knew the Jacksons the best. From the very beginning Dr. Landry had been adamant about wanting Daniel present, in fact, it was the archaeologist's opinion that allowing the young boy to attend would give the boy a chance to find the closure he hadn't been able to find yet on his own.
His feelings differed from those of Margaret Hastings at Child Protective Services however, she held firmly to the belief that the child should be kept as far away as possible. As far as she was concerned, what "healing" might happen had already begun, and seeing his parents would only undo the progress he was making. In her mind, the boy had seen enough at the museum. He'd been through the trauma of having witnessed the accident that had taken his parent's lives, he certainly didn't need to be pulled out of his home for a fresh reminder of that day now.
Having come to know the quiet boy in their care better than Ms Hastings, his Foster Parents found themselves falling into agreement with those at the museum. It wasn't easy to get him to open up about how he was feeling, but there was no denying that the decisions that had been made to prevent him seeing his parents both at the time of the accident, and in the hospital afterward still haunted him. It was their opinion that letting Daniel say good-bye to his parents might be exactly what he needed to do in order to finally move on. On the day of the accident he had been dragged screaming from the display room while his parents were still alive. When he'd repeatedly asked about going to the hospital to see his parents he'd been told he needed only to be patient, and if he did as he was asked he would be able to see both of them. The McDowell's themselves didn't understand why those involved thought it best to lie to to the child, but they had, and so, when eventually the news of their deaths was broken to him it left him reeling. All of that had only been words though, and both of the McDowell's held onto the belief that until Daniel could see the truth for himself, he would never fully accept it as fact. Daniel was not a naive child, and though they hadn't had the boy in their home long, they were finding that he was not one of those children who would accept anything less than the complete truth, which was bringing them to their next problem.
In the initial letter that Child Protective Services had received from Nicholas Ballard, the man had expressed his shock over the news of his daughter and son-in-law's unexpected deaths. What surprised them all though was the man's decision not to attend the funeral. In the letter he claimed it was due to his hectic work schedule, but Colin wondered if there was more to it then that, this was his daughter after all. Even more outrageous, in Colin's eye though was the man's second decision, and that was to leave his grandson in foster-care rather then make arrangements to take him in himself. With everything that Daniel Jackson had gone through, and had yet to face, both the McDowells and Mrs. Hastings had decided that they would wait until after the funeral to break the news to the boy. It was not a conversation any of them were looking forward to. They knew that Daniel had been clinging to that thread of hope since the day he'd been placed into the system, once it was taken from him, what would he have left? In a way, it was that news that had changed the caseworker's mind on allowing the young boy to attend the day's ceremony. Maybe seeing the familiar faces of those his parents had worked with would show him he wasn't really as alone as he might think he was. Granted, they might not make up for his grandfather's absence, but, they would be friendly faces for him, and he needed that now more then ever. While she wasn't one hundred percent sold on her decision, once it was made Mrs. Hastings embraced it fully, she could only hope they wouldn't regret it once it came time to reveal the truth to the child.
"Daniel, you ready to go?" Colin McDowell finished pulling his jacket on then grabbed his foster-son's from the hook on the wall as he waited for the boy to join him.
"I'm ready." The thump of his shoes on the stairs announced his arrival before he appeared around the corner, and Colin held his jacket out to him as he did.
"Put this on, we've got to go, we're running late." Opening the door, he let the 8 year old scoot out under his arm before following him .
"Did the letter from my grandfather come yet? Is he going to be at the cemetery?" The questions were the same ones he'd been asking for days, and he couldn't quite hide the touch of fear that registered in his words. What if his grandfather didn't come? What if his grandfather didn't want him? As the questions flashed through his thoughts a sense of panic started to rise in him.
"No." The word was out before Daniel even realized he'd voiced it aloud and it prompted Colin McDowell to stop him, delaying his own response at the same time.
"No, what, Daniel?" He dropped to a squat so he was eye to eye with the boy as he reached over to put one hand on his shoulder.
"Nothing..."Dropping his eyes to the sidewalk, the young blond kicked at some loose gravel at his feet.
"You know you can talk to me about anything." As hard as it was, he held back on initiating any further physical contact, leaving that decision to Daniel himself.
"I know." Daniel rubbed at his eyes but refused to say anything more.
"All right, if you change your mind, just tell me." When he remained quiet, Colin gave him a brief smile, then released his hold on the boy and stood and before making his way to the car.
"Okay." The word was left hanging in the air as he trailed after the man. What if his grandfather didn't come to the funeral? What if his grandfather really didn't want him? Anything else his foster-father said to him was lost as the thoughts grabbed hold of him.
It was going to be a long drive.
To be continued
Muse:Daniel Jackson
Fandom: Stargate SG-1 (kind of)
Words: 1157
I've never written you a letter before, and I don't know if this will get to you cause I don't live at my house anymore. If you do get it, can you come places that aren't someone's real house? See, cause, my mom and dad were killed in an accident, and now I live in a foster house, but, there's other kids here too, so, I thought maybe you'd come for them.
So, anyway, I don't think I want any toys this year, I guess that's what most kids probably ask you for but, this year I need something else. I thought a lot about this, and I know you're supposed to be able to bring anything if a kid's been good, and I've been pretty good most of the time, but, still, I don't think you can bring people back who have died. Can you? I don't think so, so, as much as I want to ask you to bring my mom and dad back to me so we can be a family again, I don't think it's something you can do.
There is something else though, and it's kind of big, but, not like, bring me a pony, big. Do you think, Santa, that you could make it so I could go live with my grandfather? I know it's not really a present, but, that's okay with me, cause if you could do this I'd do without any presents ever again. See, Santa, I don't want to live with people I don't know anymore, I want to live with my grandfather. I promise, if you could do this, I'll never be bad again, and I'll do everything he asks. So, please, if you really are real, this is the only thing I want.
Thank you, Santa
Daniel Jackson
Muse: Daniel Jackson
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Words: 301
I'm afraid that I'm going to forget what my mom and dad look and sound like. I mean, I know I have some pictures of them, so I won't really forget them, but, if I try to see their faces in my head, sometimes they're blurry. They haven't even been gone a whole year yet, what happens in 2 years, or 5 years, or when I grow up? I don't want to forget them, but, just having the pictures isn't enough.
Mrs. McDowell was listening to the radio the other day when she was folding laundry, and I remembered I'd heard the song before when I was little. Most of the things my mom and dad did had to do with their work, but this didn't. I remember it was the 4th of July and a bunch of the people they worked with all went to this outdoor concert together. Everybody brought picnic lunches and spread blankets on the ground and there was this big band that played all day long. I remember my mom had made chicken, and potato salad. Mostly, I remember sitting on my dad's lap while we listened to the music. If I close my eyes, I can smell his after shave, and I can almost feel his arms around me. When it got really dark, that was the best time, 'cause they shot fireworks into the sky, and the music they played went with how they were setting them off.
How come I can remember so many things about a day with my parents from when I was only 4, but, when I try to see their faces without the pictures, I can't? I try so hard to see them sometimes and everything I see is all blurry. If I close my eyes and try to make myself remember, the only thing I can see is the accident, and then I hear my mom scream. Someone grabs me then, it feels so real, and they take me away and I never get to see my mom and dad again. I hate that memory, but, when I try to make another one come to make it go away it never does.
I'm afraid one day I'm going to look at my pictures and even though I know they're my mom and dad in them, when I close my eyes to remember them, nothing will be there. I'm afraid not only will I forget what they looked like, but, I'll forget how they sounded, and then I'll really be alone.
Muse: Daniel Jackson
Fandom: Stargate SG-1 (kind of)
Words: 429
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logan_maxwell)Four months. As Daniel drew the "X" through the number on the calendar it only served to re-enforce the feeling that had been building within him for the better part of the last week. It wasn't that the was really anything wrong with his foster parents, they were nice enough to him, and it wasn't like they punished him unless he had done something really bad.
"Daniel, get a move on, you're going to be late for school." Colin McDowell's voice carried up the stairs. He had to make a decision. Pulling the drawer of his desk open, in preparation to putting the calendar inside, he caught sight of the latest letter from his grandfather. If he'd been hesitant before, his grandfather's words were enough to push him over the edge, his decision was made it was all down to where and when.
"Daniel, this is the last time I'm calling you, the next time I'm coming up there with the belt." Folding the letter in half, he tucked it in his pant's pocket. He couldn't take much, it would raise suspicions, but, what was safe to take? He glanced around the room, his book on Egypt, the picture of his parents, his diary, what else? He shoved the few items he'd decided on in his back-pack as he heard the foot-steps on the stairs. Too late, now he'd pay the price.
"I warned you, Daniel." As Colin McDowell entered the room, he slapped the wide leather belt across his palm with enough force that it made the boy jump, even before he felt the sting of it.
"One of these days you'll learn, boy." Colin let four more smacks make contact before deciding enough was enough.
"Now, grab your back-pack, go wash your face, and get to school. You're to come straight home afterward, there'll be a list of chores for you to do before dinner. Do you hear me?"
"Yes, sir." Daniel wiped his face with his sleeve before moving to comply, whatever doubts he'd had gone. Maybe he hadn't succeeded the first time he'd tried to leave, but, he had to try. The best way to get a head start was to be there for attendance, he'd figured that much out, maybe, if he slipped away during the confusion of recess, or lunch that would be the best time.
******
Recess proved to be the perfect time, especially when two of the fifth graders decided to get into a fight. With the diversion occupying those on the playground Daniel snuck back into his classroom long enough to grab his back-pack. He was pulling it on as he slipped out of one of the side doors, and with the sound of the fight still coming from the playground his escape to the streets went without notice.
It was nearing dusk by the time the McDowells placed the call to the police to report the disappearance of their foster son. As the calls were made to the school staff, it was determined that the last time anyone could remember seeing the 8 year old was sometime around eleven that morning. Six hours, the boy had been missing for close to six hours and no one had any idea where to even start looking for him.
******
Daniel had learned from his first attempt at running away, and while he didn't have much money, he'd managed to squirrel away close to $20, enough to keep him in bus fares and something to eat. So far luck seemed to be on his side and after rummaging in his back-pack he had a New York City map in hand. His goal for the day was to get out of the City, and of course, making sure he avoided the police. He gave a final glance at the map before folding it and sliding it into his pocket. Okay...now where to go?
The days leading up to the funeral for Daniel's parents were difficult, not only for the young boy, but for the couple entrusted with his care. For the most part, Daniel was proving to be an obedient child, he complied with whatever requests were made of him without the usual arguments that Colin and Mary McDowell found often came from their new arrivals. In fact, if the couple were pressed to name the one thing about the eight year old that bothered them most, neither could deny that it was his sullenness, though both knew too that it was likely the way he was dealing with both the anger he felt over his current situation and his inability to do anything about it.
There were many reasons that had led the McDowell's toward their decision to become foster parents, not the least was their love of children and the inabilty to have any of their own. Every child who entered their home was welcomed with the joy that they would have showered a child of their own blood, and if there was one thing above all others that made them feel successful at what they did, it was the sense of family they had achieved with the boys in their care. Or to br more exact, that had been the feel for the house before young Daniel's arrival, for despite his silence on everything else, when it came to talk of being part of the McDowell family the anger that had simmered in him since his parent's death boiled over. Within hours of the accident that claimed Melburn and Claire Jackson's lives, multiple attempts had been made to reach Nicholas Ballard. When he had finally returned the calls, the news he relayed was far from what they would have expected, and it had left them with yet more bad news to heap on the young boy, who had already had too much. In Daniel's eye the only family that existed for him was that which he might have with his Grandfather, and unfortunately it seemed that might never be more than a dream. All either of the McDowell's could do was hope that in time the boy would come to accept the news and until then, well, there was always the hope the man might change his mind.
In the meantime, if Daniel seemed to be reasonably settling into the household during the day, nights were proving to be far more difficult for him and he had yet to make it through one without waking to a nightmare. Neither Colin nor Mary McDowell could fault the young boy for the memories that haunted his sleep. In fact, prior to his arrival. they had been warned about his having seen the accident that had left his parents dead in order to prepare them for that very possibility. Making matters worse was the fact that Daniel had decided that he should have been able to save his parents, the how or why was still unclear as the boy refused to talk about what he had seen, either with his foster parents or the therapist who he'd been advised to see. The issue was not something that would disappear overnight, they knew that from past experience, and all they could do was be there to offer what comfort they could, and hope in time he would trust someone enough to open up.
(chapters 1-14 may be found starting here: http://notyourdannyboy.livejournal.com/?s
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